The family reunion happened a couple weeks ago. All I've heard is what a nice time everyone had. Interestingly, my mother decided to start sending me chatty emails afterward. I assume that she got enough narcissistic supply during the weekend to either make her want to gloat about what fun they had or pretend that all was well.
Since I told people we wouldn't be at the family reunion because we are off havng an RV adventure, I assume my mother also stuck to that story, but with her own embellishments.
It feels weird to not really know what is happening with my family, but it also feels good. I used to say that my ideal vacation would just be a day when no one wanted anything from me. I used to spend a fair amount of time either listening to my mother's problems, trying to fix them or trying to do stuff to make her happy. Same with my son. I don't miss any of that.
Apparently they are able to manage without me. What is it about me that felt compelled to do all this for them, like they needed it?
One of the things I keep reading about is how a narcissistc mother parentifies their child and that was certainly the case with me. I have felt responsible for her emotional happiness for as long as I can remember. If she said she was bored, I tried to entertain her. If she was sad, I was sad. If there was someone she didn't like, I didn't like them either (or else I felt guilty if I did like them).
With a baby, it's fun to make them laugh because their laughter is so joyful. With a narcissistc mother you just try to do anything to avoid their censure.
