The Tears Of A Narcissist

I've been spending a lot of time with my mother lately and I've realized that she cries often. Not at sentimental movies or over the beauty of a sunset and most certainly not due to over-flowing love for me or my father...no her tears are all motivated by self-pity.

Admittedly, she does have serious physical ailments which cause her pain, but what I have noticed is that when she cries it is not from the physical pain but due to self-pity because the physical pain limits her abilities to do other things.

Once someone pays attention to her, the tears seem to stop. It's a miracle! If I miss the tears in real time, she'll report to me later, either in person or by email, that she "just sat and cried".

Now...I will acknowledge that I have shed a fair amout of "poor pitiful me" tears over the years. Who hasn't? But, I don't let anyone else know about it and I'm also moved by other emotions. I need to be more emotional and get in touch with those feelings more easily, but I comfort myself by knowing that I at least realize the problem.

My mother is also expert at generating tears in order to win an argument.

Because I have some narcissistic tendencies too...her tears are having very little affect on me other than to make me roll my eyes, grit my teeth, and try to tend to her needs. She's still my mother, afterall.