When Narcissists Attack

As a follow up to my last post about the tears of a narcissist, I want to address what has happened the few times my mother has driven me to tears.

In normal people (I think, I'm probably mostly guessing here) when someone else is crying you show compassion and try to alleviate whatever it is that is causing their tears.

But not with my mother...there have been a handful of times when we have argued (I've since learned my lesson and do my utmost to suck it up and shut up, but sometimes I slip) and my mother has driven me to tears. Does she back off and realize that whatever we are arguing about is painful to me? Does she re-think her position or even do anything to alleviate my upset (I am her daughter afterall)? No, she's like a shark that smells blood and goes in for the kill, not stopping until her adult daughter who is an accomplished professional is a cowering, sobbing, mess.

Nice.

Now, this is during arguments. At other times when I've been sad and she's maybe found me crying (I don't think I ever do it in her presence if I can help it), she does try to be helpful, but it usually is so awkward and uncomfortable...and not at all comforting, that I just want it to stop.

Sad, isn't it? That a child does not want the comfort of her mother?

Hey...I'm not saying I'm a 100% emotionally healthy person...I'm just on a journey to be a bit better.