Hurtful Things Narcissists Say

We all have unkind  or sarcastic thoughts about other people. I have them all the time. But, I like to think that I am getting better about keeping them to myself and being mindful of the fact that such things can be hurtful to others.

My mother has no such qualms.

I've never been pretty and feminine. I can be attractive but it generally takes some effort. I'm fine with that, but of course I'd like it better if it was more of a natural thing. However, I'd like to add that my mother never was of much assistance in encouraging me to be pretty or attractive (more on that at a later time).

I always wish I had a great hairstyle. About 12 years ago I had my hair fairly long and then permed it. It wasn't a great look.

A few months later I got a new haircut and my mother said "Oh, your hair looks so nice. I really hated the way it looked before. I kept giving you hints and that's why I kept buying you those salon gift certificates, but you kept getting massages instead of a decent haircut."

So, instead of feeling good about my new haircut, I felt like a fool who had been going around with a horrible hairstyle for months and had even been too dense to pick up on my mother's oh-so-helpful hints. All I could think about was that I'd looked awful for so long.

Now, why couldn't she have just complimented me on the new haircut and shut up about it?

I'm no expert, but I think that because everything is about her, she had to add in how she'd known all along that I needed something different, thus proving how much smarter she was and how much more fashion conscious she was than me.

It can't just be about my new haircut. She has to add in a dig.

And, given that I still remember it...you know it hurt.